The Invisible Runaway

This week the New York Times published a story about a 13-year-old runaway who had been riding the subways for 11 days before he was discovered, even though hundreds of flyers had been distributed in the subways and the city with his picture.  Francisco was not your typical boy but he may be a typical runaway.  He had run away after school because he was afraid to face his mother who knew he was not doing well in school.  He also had Asberger Syndrome.

Many of the youth served by Bill Wilson Center’s runaway shelter have trouble with school.   Many parents of these youth do not know where to turn when their kids need help.  Kids with Asberger’s have an additional handicap — they often lack the social skills to connect with their peers and teachers.   We have seen many kids with Asberger’s over the years.

The story also reminds me of the results of a survey that the Search Institute conducts every year with teenagers to gauge their asset level.  The majority of the teens feel that adults do not value them or even like them.  They repeatedly report that many adults ignore them when passing them on the streets.  I wonder how many adults saw Francisco sitting on the subway every day?

After reading the story I was again reminded about what we can do to reach out to young people.  Just saying hello to a teenager you pass on the street will go a long way in making our community a better place.  And, next time you see a young person looking lonely and with their head down, why not ask if there is something you can do for them?  You might be surprised when they ask for some help.

Who Buries Our Former Foster Children?

About two weeks ago a regular at Bill Wilson Center’s Drop-In Center, Carl Weisman, 24 years old, died from complications from Swine Flu. Carl had a rough life.  After suffering abuse, he was placed with Future Families at age 9 and then went to a Unity Care Group home at age 13 where he lived for 5 years.  After turning age 18, Carl left foster care and never quite made it to successful independent living.   Abusing drugs and alcohol, Carl was always at our Drop-In Center where counselors and case managers helped him with basic needs and worked tirelessly to get him off the streets.   Carl was successful for short times, but the lure of drugs and the street always short circuited his plans.

Several weeks ago, Carl was hospitalized for pneumonia and heart problems; complications from years of street life and abusing drugs.   He apparently was released but then contracted the H1N1 virus and ended up back in the hospital and soon after on life support.  Carl’s sister, who also spent her life in foster care, was the only relative willing to see him and make decisions about the end of his life.  Unity Care and Bill Wilson Center staff were there to support her.  A few days later, Carl passed away.

Carl’s sister wanted a church funeral for her brother, but she had no money.  I assumed that because Carl had been in foster care and was in Santa Clara County’s Connected by 25 program that there would be some funds available to help pay for his funeral costs.  I called and staff from Unity Care called social services to check.  Carl was not eligible for funds because he was over 21.  Also, he was originally from Alameda County so not really from here.  I was told to try the Children’s Shelter Foundation.  The Foundation told me to check with the county and then get back to them.  To the Social Services Agency credit, social workers organized a bake sale and collected donations for Carl’s funeral.

The clock was ticking, the hospital was putting pressure on Carl’s sister to take her brothers’ body somewhere.  The Neptune Society would not take the body until they had a guarantee of funds.  Unity Care raised funds from their staff, Bill Wilson Center passed the hat around at an event, and finally the county Mental Health Contractors Association wrote a check for the final amount.  Carl could now have the funeral his sister wanted.

Trying to arrange for Carl’s funeral was a stressful time for me, Andre Chapman from Unity Care, and his sister.  There must be an easier way to take care of our former foster youth who die homeless and penniless.  I tried calling the county public guardian and coroner for help.  Homeless agencies had suggestions of funeral homes who had helped in the past, but maybe due to the economy, they weren’t a help this time.

I believe there is a better way.  I plan on asking our state representatives to sponsor a bill in the state legislature to pay for burying our former foster children if they die without family and without money.  At the very least, we should help with costs if they die before age 30.  After all, when children are placed with the state they are now the children of the state.  Let’s at least remember them with a funeral we would want for our own children.